If there were a “Busy Badge”, would you be wearing it?

Being “Crazy” busy will make you….well…crazy. Yet, we all spend inordinate amounts of time bragging about how busy we are in a sense. If you’re not bragging about it, you’re likely talking about it or telling others or complaining about being tired. All of that is okay, but what if… just what if… your focus was on something say more helpful?

If you are “crazy” busy all the time, up to your neck in alligators, busier than a one armed paper hanger, and more crazed than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs (all sayings I have personally used, mind you) then maybe these three thoughts deserve a moment of your consideration, that is if you can find the time to read and contemplate them.

Prolonged “Crazy” Busy-ness will SLOW You Down

Eek! Few who are crazy busy all the time want to hear the words slow down unless it is part of a fantasy they wish they could achieve. However, when you work yourself into a “tizzy” all the time eventually your body is going to tell you it needs a break and demand your attention. Eventually, you will run out of steam and find that it takes more time to do even the simplest task. Take a break when you feel the energy dissipate or you will find yourself experiencing the law of diminishing returns.

Saying “Yes” to Everything Does NOT Make You Smart or More Well Liked

As much as many would like to believe that saying yes is a way to gain approval, the truth is that the person who is able to discern the need for a boundary or the time to say no, due to their inability to focus full attention, actually garners more respect. Respect and likability often go hand in hand. Commit to what you can do and do what you say. Avoid the temptation to just say yes to all of it so that you look like the hero only to have to rain on someone’s parade at a later date and risk damage to the very reputation you might have been trying to improve.

Being Busy is not a Badge of Honor, but an attempt to Bridge a Gap of Self Approval

At one time I began a book entitled “The Busy Badge” and at the beginning of the project, my book coach quickly informed me that writing this book would require me to convince the Type A’s of the world that being busy was a problem. Um… right! Hence you’ve never seen the book, but my thoughts on the subject haven’t changed. What are we all so “busy” doing? Those Type A folks, or shall I say WE Type A folks, are often running around DOING a multitude of things because it drives them, but is the drive to do more really coming from a drive to be who they want to be or what they want others to see? Clearly a rhetorical question, but in a friendly way of reminding us that our behavior is still contagious, if you struggle with standing still and just being with yourself, might it stand to reason that others are picking up on this from you? Believe you’re awesome no matter what you’ve accomplished lately and the time to accomplish great things will likely appear before you know it. That is perhaps a bit oversimplified for the more linear thinkers, but I think you get the idea.

In a time when doing more with less and one person doing the job of seemingly six people, being busy has become the norm, but with that norm also comes a few challenges. Are these challenges you face? Are these thoughts worth your time to consider? Tell us more. And oh, as a side benefit, considering these ideas before you launch into that to-do list in front of you today, may not only increase your Contagious Leadership™ of your own actions, but also improve your Contagious Confidence™ of what all you need to do to approve of you and your accomplishments today.

Stay Contagious!
Monica

Can Moms really be difficult? Really?

Gasp! Difficult Moms? Right before Mother’s Day? Well, what do you do if even the most well-meaning, well intentioned mom is actually in a way that is difficult? Here are three ways to make even the difficult Mom disappear.

Know the Numbers

Adjust Your Expectations

Look at Intentions

When someone’s behavior is different than what we want or need, it is often still done with the best of intentions. Moms are no different. Typically, they love their children and are truly doing what they think is best for them or their well-being. Perhaps you start off any piece of feedback you share with “I know your intentions are good and I know your heart is in the right place… and what I would really like to have is… “ finished with whatever that desire is. Notice that the word BUT is not in that sentence. “But” negates all said before it in a sentence, so if you really do know her intentions are good, avoid letting your “but” get in the way. Hehe!

Do these things and that difficulty that you see in your Mom will likely disappear…that and you’ll have learned great skills that apply to many others around you, as well.

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all!

Many leaders are motivated by “getting stuff done”, yet there are any number of barriers that prevent such productivity and today’s Monday Moment will help you remove those barriers with ease. There are 7 ways actually to get more done and they come from a book I’ve recently read. Chad Hymas, a dear friend and speaker colleague, recently authored Doing What Must Be Done, and it immediately captured my attention and taught me how to get more done and how to… well, get out of my own way. Seven steps from his book follow.

Recognize “It’s not about you”

Chad, who suffered a tragic tractor accident that paralyzed most of the muscles below his neck, challenges you to look at life completely and with a bigger picture. “It’s not about you” the leader and how you feel or just your behaviors, it’s about how your habits and your actions affect everyone around you. Getting more things done requires that you remember how contagious your behavior really is and include others in that bigger picture.

Do is the Operational Word to Done

The root word for doing is “done” and “do”, so “do” it every day without fear, without falter. Tackle those things you know must be DONE but might be tempted to put off for later. Know in your heart when you do the little things on that long list, you will get closer every day to getting the big things done.

Failure- Don’t quit

Chad says, “I quit a lot, I must be a failure. But, I don’t STAY quit.  I have my family and friends’ support who help me to not “stay quit” and I’ve developed the tenacity to stay with it.” What do you give up on easily that with just a tiny bit more effort you could get done?

Reaching Goals

We all know that if you set your mind to anything you can do it or at least that is what we’ve been told. If you set goals, break them down into individual small steps you can do right NOW to get closer to reaching that goal. Stop looking at the things you can’t do and look at the things you can do and do them, knowing and focusing on how good it will feel when you’ve reached the goal!

Dealing with unexpected challenges

Riding a tractor one minute and fighting for your life the next is the epitome of an unexpected “challenge” and that is how Chad describes it. Most of us don’t fight for our life every day, so in perspective that fire drill, that cranky employee…piece of cake to deal with, yes? How Chad was able to deal with his unexpected challenge, endure the pain   and frustration and move forward is by simply doing a little bit every day to get done what needed to be done.

Love and devotion

In Chapter 3 Chad shares the love and devotion he receives from his wife Shondell. Those that are married know it is easy to love your spouse when things are going well. Even those that aren’t, also know the truth in the phrase “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Whether in work or just life, those that stick together can get though anything, but it starts with you providing support and devotion and showing others how to share that back with you.

Life is not fair

Chad reminds us that “Life is not FAIR, but can by FAIRLY Wonderful.” In chapter twelve Chad says, “I realize that my life is not determined by what happens to me, but by how I respond to what happens. It is not about what life brings to me, but rather what I bring to life.” Even my grandpa used to say “a Fair is something that comes to town once a year, and this ain’t it.” Do you focus on what isn’t fair about your job or your leadership role or do you roll with the unexpected, the times you want to quit and the others there to help you, contribute to the goal, and support your direction?

We all at times need a reminder that we’re not the only ones who struggle and one could argue that leadership at times, can be wrought with daily struggles and frustrations. What are you looking at, the things that challenge you as a leader or the things that challenge you to grow? The challenges will keep you from getting things done. Those things that help you grow will challenge you to do more.

Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Self –esteem is the belief that you are worth the effort to, among other things, at times make tough decisions. If you’re a leader and your self-esteem is low or lacking, it could be costing you money.. and a LOT of it at that.

When a leader suffers from low self-esteem, their decisions are likely to lean toward those that will gain external approval. This applies to customers, bosses, colleagues and team members. Often it is a function of simply being new to the position and will improve with time, but in the improvement phase, the following scenarios are not only likely, but costly:

-          Low self-esteem may cause a leader to keep a poor performing employee far longer than is appropriate, draining benefits, individual productivity, team productivity and customer experiences when working with that person.

-          Low self-esteem may cause a leader to shy away from defending a “right” decision when a powerful boss blusters “this is what must be done, regardless of cost”, instead of calmly pointing out cost savings or finding another way to approach the boss in a language that fits his or her sense of urgency for action and results.

-          Low self-esteem may cause a leader to do enthusiastically MORE than it takes to save a customer by giving away much more than what the customer may have requested if asked “What would be the best way for us to resolve this for you?” Those in need of having the customer “like” them or think of them as saving the situation are likely to give away the farm faster, to gain the appreciation.

If you work with newer managers, recently promoted, but perhaps not prepared, there is a solution to boosting their short term dip in self-esteem when learning their new role. Give them help in the way of a mentor, senior leader, executive coach or perhaps even audio or written resources, such as Contagious Confidence™ or Contagious Leadership. Make it a part of their orientation as a manager and also examine those who may have needed this orientation when they were promoted and consider improving the confidence at all management levels. Only when a leader develops a higher level of self-awareness and self-esteem will they be able to develop it in others.

A higher authentic self-esteem improves confidence, communication, team work, collaboration, and the bottom line and begins with the perceptions, beliefs, and explanations of the leader… all of which create contagious behavior and much of which take place among the voices in their head. Yep, you read that correctly the voices in their head. J

Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Stressed out people act cranky and often make bad decisions in the heat of the moment. Is your sales force stressed out? Then your numbers are suffering.

In the behavior of people and especially sales people, what leaders describe as difficult or high maintenance behavior is usually the stressed or negative version of whatever are one’s dominant set of natural personality traits. Top performing sales people are often highly dramatic, emotional, exuberant, enthusiastic, and less than organized. Put one of them  under stress and you’ll watch them act negative. (i.e. needy drama queen) It’s a simple cause and effect and largely depends on the development of their own self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Imagine a stressed out “drama queen” going on a sales call. They are likely to give away the farm to get a feeling of approval or appreciation for giving such a discount. They might complain to the potential customer about feeling under valued or talk a wee bit more than the customer wants. They may overstep the normal social boundaries and “overshare” and they may get on social media and tell the “world” how they feel if they are blaming your organization for their stress.  What customer is going to jump at the chance to buy from someone acting like that?

So, what do you do to reduce the stress for your high performing sales people? Here are some options:

-          Make yourself available to them to vent. Just listen and don’t try to fix. They need to be heard.

-          Remind them that historically their numbers have been great and that this might just be  a temporary slump

-          Give them a “small” incentive that leaves you room to build on if you need to, to motivate their need for appreciation

-           Share the efforts of an organized support team member who can do some of the paperwork or calculations on margins BEFORE the deal is closed or sold

-          Recognize even the smallest examples of behavior you want them to repeat.

The very attributes leaders love and look for in high performing sales people are the very same ones that when stressed out cause those same leaders to roll their eyes and shake their head. It’s the way it works and it is important to take the good with the not so convenient and devote attention to reducing their stress as much as you’re able. Remember also, not to fuel their stress and train them to act stressed just to get a reward.  That is training them how to treat you and well… another post.

Much of these suggestions and detailed information on the personality of your sales team can be found in the newly released book Make Difficult People Disappear.  It’s not a magical formula but rather a dramatic shift in mindset that makes difficulty disappear and those you thought were difficult become those you can now easily work with!

(if you’d like to order an autographed copy of Make Difficult People Disappear

or several copies for you and your team, CLICK HERE)

Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

The range of reactions to “that’s not my job” might land some managers in jail, but it’s when a leader turns a blind eye to this remark and says “that’s not my problem” that productivity slows WAY down! It’s the employee with an attitude problem that says “that’s not my job”, but it’s the leader with an attitude problem that thinks “that’s not my problem.”

It is safe to say that an employee who says “that’s not my job” is acting like that proverbial difficult person and on today, the day of official release for Make Difficult People Disappear this seemed an appropriate Monday Moment topic. If you’ve ever heard someone shirk a job responsibility in this way, don’t fret, there are ways to deal with it effectively.

• You could respond with “Well, it doesn’t have to be your job for long.” (My personal favorite!)
• You could say “You remember that phrase ‘other duties as assigned’? This would be one of those.”
• You could remind the employee that there are many valued contributions they provide and this is one needed now.
• You could sit him down and have the conversation about everyone is doing more with less.
• You could talk about the economy.
• You could describe the numbers of resumes you might get if you post the job should she decide it’s no longer one she wants to do. (okay, so maybe that’s a bit direct)
• You could say ‘I beg your pardon?’, followed by the evil parent eye

OR

• You could address the misstep in professional conduct and point to a policy that says “Each team member will willingly participate in the activities necessary to satisfy our clients’ needs for our products and services and continued relationship with our organization.”

The problem is that many leaders get fed up with this kind of behavior and many organizations do not have a professional conduct policy, by which to govern the behavior or potential attitude problems of employees. Thus, this kind of issue becomes one that leaders tire of dealing with and they walk away saying “that’s not my problem” under their breath. When an employee problem of this type gets ignored in the organization, it spreads. It becomes contagious, starts to affect other team members, can create conflict and certainly stress and will slow down, to the speed of cold molasses any and all productivity, if left to fester.

As the leader, it IS your problem and your responsibility to deal with the difficult people, even the ones who simply seem to have an attitude. Stay tuned for more on this topic in the coming weeks and in the meantime, maybe it’s time to brush up on or create that organizational professional conduct policy.

Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Wouldn’t it be nice if difficulty in your work and life were only in your rear view mirror?

If you were on Facebook last week you may have seen the talk about Make Difficult People Disappear and the fact that the first off the press copy arrived in my office last week! When I took a look at the contents a surprising and unintended theme appeared that I hadn’t seen before. There are chapters about shifts, maps, and wheels and those are what will help you DRIVE away office difficulty. You still make it disappear mind you, but this happens to be 3 steps to quickly drive that process.

With the SHIFTS chapter the goal is to shift your expectations. What are you expecting from those you lead or work with or live with? Are your expectations of those you call difficult, actually driving their continued difficult behavior? There is an analogy used in the book about seeing a Jack Russell terrier and expecting it to act like and look like a German Shepard. Clearly they don’t act the same, but if you are expecting them to, who’s being difficult, you or the dog..er.. I mean person?

With the MAPS chapter the goal is to see where to take a conversation so that you can improve the relationship or get what you want out of the conversation. Maps work for all parties, so they will benefit from having one, too. A tool, such as the CORE Profile® will give you such a map and guide you on what to say to whom and how and when so that the conversation is in a language they understand and can act on, thus giving you the result you want.. instead of frustration.

With the WHEELS chapter we’re poking a little fun at the overuse of “putting the right people in the right seats on the bus” but also referring to the wheels of motion. You do want to take action and assess team members (even the difficult ones)and make sure you have a right fit, but you have to remember one person can fit many roles and just an assessment alone without some further digging and discovery of the needs of that role and the entire teams gifts, skills, traits, and talents may drive the difficult meter to an all-time high. Taking action is not the same as making hasty ill-informed decisions when it comes to behaviors and job fit.

Need more?

If you’d like to explore Make Difficult People Disappear and what others have said as well as how it might be a valuable tool for your organization, go to MakeDifficultPeopleDisappear.com. You may also find value in sending team members to our Dealing with Difficulty Conference in Orlando, where these issues and more will be a part of the training.

Drive away difficulty or just make it disappear. Whatever method you use to rid yourself of the stress and internal office conflict a leader often deals with daily, the point is to get folks on the same page, get what you want and need out of your relationships in work and life, help them get what they want and need, and focus on leading effectively.

Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Think of the format of a Master Card commercial. In dealing with difficult people we have insanity, what’s typical, and then the priceless solution… or in this case 4 priceless solutions. So, there’s insanity, or dealing with difficult people in the same old way and expecting them to do something different. There’s our typical response of labeling difficult people for easy description when we talk about them and then there’s the priceless solution: using new labels that remind you to treat them in new ways so that you get different results!

So the priceless solution is for you, not the difficult person. We all know that the only person’s behavior you can change is yours so keep that in mind here and use these new labels to remind yourself how YOU can adjust your behavior when dealing with others you’ve decided are difficult.

There are four new ways of describing them: Divas, Dragons, Detectives, and Drop Outs. Each label corresponds to our CORE Profile® Personality Preferences, but also gives you a clue about what is creating the need for their difficult behavior and what is motivating them… both of which you can then directly address.

Divas – these are likely Entertainer types motivated by a need for attention. Give them some and they get less difficult. The only reason they might appear to be a diva is because they are in an attention deficit and that causes them stress.

Dragons – these are likely Commander types motivated by getting things done. Help them be more efficient and get immediate results and they’ll quit breathing fire down your neck. The only reason they do is stress makes them want to control the snot out of everything and barking orders is perceived to be a way to control.

Detectives – these are likely the more linear Organizer preferences motivated and driven to do things right. With enough stress they become vigilant around details – give them as many facts and figures as you can find that are relevant and then give them time. Columbo could solve a murder in under an hour, but these guys need time to process and the more stress and pressure and less details, the more time they’ll take to figure out the “mystery”.

Drop Outs – these are likely your Relater preferences who withdraw and close up when conflict arises and folks stop getting along. They need stability, certainty, reassurance, and harmony and if you can provide those or send them somewhere where there is more of that, the stress and disengagement will disappear.

Want to make all of your difficulties disappear? Add to these four simple strategies by understanding who YOU are, who THEY are and how your needs and styles might differ, but both have value and can be powerful when properly motivated, accepted and addressed.

Need more?

Two things will significantly help you with here. One, the Dealing with Difficult People Conference in Orlando on April 24^th Click Here to Register and Two, Monica’s new book Make Difficult People Disappear. Preorder Now! 

Stay contagious!

Oh my lanta! I had no idea “Office Drama Queen” would pull so many results on Google. It’s an issue of magnificent proportion and if you deal with it in your office, you know.

Sites from Scientific American to Career Builder to AOL Jobs to even eHow lists ways to deal with the office drama queen, but one thing that seemed not to be emphasized, is the leaders’ role in feeding this behavior. We train employees and colleagues how to treat us and if you’re one of the twelve million faced with an office drama queen, or what some call “diva”, here’s the one key piece of advice that might make the most difference.

STOP REWARDING the BEHAVIOR

Leaders reward this kind of behavior by being afraid to address the issue, avoiding assigning some projects for fear of the outburst, ignoring the behavior thinking it will go away, or by consistently spending time in meetings or team gatherings giving this type of person the spotlight.

Instead, experts site these remedies as more effective and in line with a more viable solution:

• Set boundaries on what is acceptable on the job behavior and what’s not
• Avoid reacting and providing more ammunition when an outburst occurs
• Remind the employee of the above stated boundaries and swiftly deliver the consequences you’ve set for deviations
• Pay more attention to those doing the job well and less to those who choose not to abide by the guidelines for professional conduct or interaction

These may seem like down and dirty or very black and white responses to an emotional, seemingly complicated issue or type of behavior, but as a leader, it is your decision to work with someone who continues to create drama or spread drama to the entire team. You can decide to tolerate it and lose your right to complain about it, or address the situation directly and swiftly and watch the behavior dissipate or the person self-deselect rather quickly.

Dealing with difficult employees is not a leadership requirement but rather a choice. HOW you deal with them is a choice.

Need more?

Difficulty comes in all shapes and sizes, tones, and tempers and this may be one of those times when you realize that you don’t have the skills you need to assert yourself or to address the situation in way that makes you comfortable. We can help with those skills at our April Conference. Interested in learning more? Click here

Have a great Monday, an even better week and of course, stay contagious!

Things are moving so fast and we’re all so busy, but sometimes you just need a break.

One solution? You could take a day off.
Better solution? You could take a day to develop new skills to help you manage this level of activity and stress

The Contagious Conference Training Course on How to Deal with Difficult People will provide you with those skills AND time to practice, ask questions, and apply them to your own life and work. This is the real deal and we get to the real issues so you can use these skills in the real world. We don’t just talk and laugh about difficulty, we really deal with it and teach you how to, too!

The Conference is on April 24th in Orlando, FL and it will address more than you might imagine. Plus, it allows you to take a break, recharge, and reload…with new ideas, energy and skills.

I urge you to consider how much you might need a break and how big a difference one day can make.

I’d like more information
I’d like to register online now!

REGISTRATIONS INCLUDE MEALS, FREE BOOK: Make Difficult People Disappear, WORKBOOK, and FULL DAY OF TRAINING.

Don’t miss this opportunity to make such a big difference in your real world!

Stay Contagious,
Monica